Tag Archives: reindeer

Rudy Poo Tootee Does His Duty

 

Rudy Poo Tootee was not a name anybody called the red-nosed hero  to his face, but that was his nickname among the Reindeer Corps, his elite team of Santa’s sleigh pullers.

Oh the reindeer respected Rudy alright, but Rudy was — how shall I say this in a delicate manner? — somewhat anal. You know, head so far up the butt his rigidity prevented him from bending over.

Rudy’s training regimen was strictly formulaic. March, march, march. Run, run, run. Crawl, crawl, crawl. Jump, jump, jump. Roll, roll, roll. Fly, fly, fly. Now do it again until you get it right. Every day, day in and day out. Oh it was tiring training to be an elite reindeer.

But back to the nickname.

Forgive me for transitioning from the anal to flatulent. Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just telling you the story as it happened.

Anyway.

One day Santa walked onto the training grounds looking for his reindeer leader, and he yelled “Rudy!” which was what everyone called the red-nosed one.

Right after that, Rufus — Rudy’s cousin — the snot-nosed reindeer, let loose with a gassy “Pa Too Tee.” Not silent, but deadly nonetheless, judging by the reindeers’ wrinkled up faces.

Now, you have to realize that despite Rufus’ love of bodily-function humor, he hadn’t intended to let loose at that particular moment. Oh, he intended to fart with great vigor and release a really smelly onion bomb.

That was the only reason he was on the parade grounds that day. He wasn’t much into Rudy’s training obsession. Rufus was all about the jokes.

Rufus ate three onions from Mrs. Claus’ kitchen in hopes of building up the most effective flatulence.

But he was trying to hold the fart in in deference to Santa, whom he hadn’t expected that day. Unable to stifle the fart, it escaped him with a three-part, almost musical, sound.

“Poo Too Tee.”

The Reindeer Corps heard Santa’s “Rudy” and then Rufus’ “Poo Too Tee” and seized on the rhyme to dub their leader Rudy Poo Tootee.

But I digress from my original intention. I really meant to come here to remind you how we left the reindeer cousins at the end of the story “Rufus the Snot-Nosed Reindeer.”

In that story, Rufus unintentionally seized Rudy’s authority and upended the status quo. When given the opportunity to regain his head reindeer role, Rudy Poo Tootee does his duty.

Read “Rufus the Snot-Nosed Reindeer: The Reckoning“, to learn how the story turned out, not only for the reindeer cousins, but ultimately, for children all over the world.

David Madrid

Contact: David Madrid

© 2019 FabulousFables.com

Rufus is no Doofus: A reindeer’s story

 

Rufus was a snot-nosed reindeer, but don’t let that gross you out.

Because within his veins ran the blood of reindeer royalty.

Yep. Somewhere along the reindeer evolution timeline, a strain of reindeer blood exerted itself and produced some remarkable offspring, reindeer who would do incredible things in their lives.

Two of these reindeer princes were cousins, but as different from one another as a frog and a flea.

Both came to their greatness through humble beginnings.

One was bullied and taunted and not allowed to join in reindeer games.

The other had no need for reindeer games. He was a warrior with one goal in life: to wrestle.

You will be surprised to learn that both cousins saved Christmas.

One is famous for lighting Santa’s way.

The other is not famous except in the North Pole, where he is as legendary as his famous cousin.

So I’ll tell you the story of the not-so-famous reindeer.

He was called Rufus the snot-nosed reindeer, but he didn’t care.

Rufus was not a reindeer to worry about drama, idiocy or nicknames.

He was a reindeer who cared for only one thing: the thrill of of a competitive grapple.

Read his story: Rufus the Snot-Nosed Reindeer.

David Madrid

Contact: David Madrid

© 2020 FabulousFables.com

A Midnight’s Yule Dream Christmas Card

Once upon a Christmas slumber, as we slept amid some thunder,

Thunder though, it wasn’t at all, it was a green, red and white UFO come to call.

Up we went into the sky, Jacque and nobody else but I.

We shot up high and flew over each of your homes,

And wished you a Merry Christmas, you probably thought we were a drone.

 

It was then that we saw Santa Claus fly by, with four polar bears and a reindeer at his side.

Ho! Ho! Ho! St. Nick laughed as he shot through the sky. He looked to be a right jolly guy.

On Hector, Go Ralph, Run Mookie, Fly Sam, he prodded the polar bears and they ran and they ran.

Then our UFO took us up by the moon, whose face was all funny as if he had eaten a prune.

 

Finally, our craft flew under a star, the biggest, the brightest, ever seen from near or afar.

A monitor lit up and we saw such a scene, a baby in a manger, oh what a dream!

Angels sang Peace on Earth, and Goodwill to all women and men, wishes we extend to you all our very dear friends.

The baby represents all that is pure; He left us the gift of gold in the form of a simple rule:

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”

That’s what Jesus taught us; it is true.

 

Christmas time, Oh Christmas time,

When dreams of sugar plums dance in our heads, when children sleep all snug in their beds,

When dreams of UFOs are a delight, when cities are lit up with Christmas lights.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays too. Whatever you celebrate, it’s OK with us two.

Lots of love from David and Jacque Madrid; You may think this dream merely a fib.

But Christmas season is a magical time, and I’ve got a picture to go with my rhymes.

 

NOTE: A special thanks to artist Vincent Rogers, who drew the Santa and polar bear sleigh for the story “Rufus the Snot-Nosed Reindeer: The Reckoning.”

Read the first of the two-story series: “Rufus the Snot-Nosed Reindeer.”